Today is my birthday…I’m 28 years old. Most people would be like “Oh…you’re so young!!”. True I am young but birthdays get me thinking. I’ve been thinking a lot the last couple of weeks about life, goals and being a stay at home mom.
For some people being a stay at home mom seems to come comes naturally. For others, like me, it hard. I watch both my sister-in-laws and feel like they have it down! They don’t sweat the small things, they seem to enjoy the little moments and don’t mind if their houses gets a little messy :). These things don’t come naturally to me…at all!! I get anxious when my house is a mess, I like order and routine to my day and I’m not a spontaneous person so when things don’t go as planned it’s hard for me. You might be thinking why are you sharing? Because it’s my reality. I love my kids but being a stay at home mom is very hard for me. It’s a very draining, and never ending job…this year I want to try to focus on finding the joy in it.
I want to enjoy the small things. Look past the blocks and barbies everywhere and see the joy of my two kids playing together. Look past the chores of the day and decided to find joy in serving my family. I know this is where I’m supposed to be. God has blessed us beyond anything I could have ever imagined to make it possible for me to be home. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
The last year has been a hard one for me. Lots of good times and great memories with the kids but also lots of hard, and extremely draining days. I believe that God puts us in an uncomfortable place to help us grow and learn…to make us be stronger, better people. Instead of being frustrated with my situation I want to find the joy.
This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24
sydneyrueross.com 
I have four children ages 14 to 23, and I was a stay-at-home mom except for the past 3 1/2 years when I started working. I totally understand how you feel. Even though I work full time now, I still tell people that being a stay-at-home mom was the hardest but most rewarding career for me. And yes, I think it’s a career.
It takes some time to find your “groove” and make it work the way that’s best for you. I found that taking one evening a week for myself when my husband came home from work really helped me. I might go to the fabric store, to a movie or out to dinner. Getting a babysitter so you can run errands alone once in a while is awesome. Anyway, best wishes to you in your new career path!
Thanks so much for the ideas and encouraging words! I appreciate them!!
Sydney, I love your heart and your quest for not just existing, but looking for the joy in life. Life is hard…..but the secret is enjoying the moments. Our kids give us delight and fulfillment but also remind us of our imperfections
About your need for a clean orderly house……
You remind me of me in years past. Only, you are ahead of where I was at your age….by realizing that you need to let somethings go….like a perfect house.
I have learned over time, that the kids or really no one will remember how orderly your home is….everyone will however remember the times you have spent with them….playing, laughing, delighting, praying…..
I had a neighbor lady once who had a weekly “coffee” at her house for all the neighbor ladies. I remember the first time I went. She was a mother of 4 and the toys and stuff was knee deep all over the livingroom. I literally had to climb over things to make my way to her kitchen. I found neighbors sitting around her table (which was covered with breakfast dishes etc)…but she would have the coffee going and we would all look past the mess….and those times ended up being some of my favorite memories. I learned that no one really cared about “how things were picked up”…but the rather enjoyed the fellowship. None of us would miss that coffee time each week. While I like an orderly house…I learned relationship trumps so much.
Get on the floor and play with the kids….make a mess…and go to bed tired…(not all the time…but enough to see life through the eyes of your child.
I think you are amazing.
Now.when faced with frustration……I ask myself……at the end of my life will I say….
* I sure wish I would have kept my house more orderly? NOT
* I wish I had a different house…. NOT
Etc.
Do take care to take care of you….I didn’t do that….and I still struggle to allow myself time to do something for me.
I am still learning….and would love to be your age starting over again with my kids….with what I know today. 🙂
Aww thanks! I love the idea of a weekly coffee! Maybe I’ll set that up with my friends! Being a mom is hard but I’m trying to find the balance 🙂
Sydney, you are an amazing Mom and Wife. I’m so proud of you and so proud to be your Aunt. I was a stay at home mom and feel your pain with wanting everything to be perfect. I practically killed myself keeping it all “done up.” When I went back to work that all fell apart. I was up early and late trying to make it all work. It’s really not worth it. The Lord gave me a “life word” and that was BALANCE. Ask Him to show you your balance in all things. Now my family knows how to clean when we NEED to and it all gets done. For some of us it’s just in our DNA that we need order and cleanliness and there is nothing wrong with that but you can’t let it drive you and your family crazy either. Took me a long time to learn that. The Lord is helping me to rest in him in all things. i love you and am so proud of the person you are.
Thanks!
Well written! And so honestly true for every life. The grass can always look greener somewhere else. You have hit upon God’s truth for life on earth – looking forward in faith and confidence from the place that God has entrusted your life to. You will find joy because you are looking for it! And you will bless your whole family by steadfastly focusing on what brings joy, the things that have eternal value. You are already blessing me!
Sydney, your a beautiful person.You are a precious wife,wonderful mother and on and on I could go. During the past 2 years the Lord has put me on a different path in my life.I am one who “always” had a clean house.That is not true now,but I am trying to take one day at a time.Appreciating members of my family who help me when I really need help.I pray you will continue to take it easy as possible,knowing the job will get finished eventually. God Bless you and Tom as you lead your little family in the ways of our “Lord”. B L E S S I N G S